Her sun
by Soph xox
Summary: Padme learns of some devastating news about Anakin. Anakin, fighting the wars in the outerrim, must find away to see her again to prove the reports otherwise.....
1. Chapter 1

This was removed I think for copyright reasons, it was partly my own stupidity as I forgot to add a disclaimer :S

But I recieved a heads up from another reader claiming that even if I had, it would have been removed anyway, I was a bit confused seeing as Ive read so many other songfics on this site with unoriginal lyrics which have not been removed...can someone explain what Ive been doing wrong here?

Anyway, I've turned this into a normal fanfic, taken out the song and edited some bits to make it fit for the song's absence, I thought that particular song really worked to portray the atmosphere of the chapter, but I obviously caused some offense and I apologize.

**Disclaimer:** I own none of the characters, Both characters and planets all belong the the one and only George Lucas. I make no profit out of any of this, this is simply for my own pleasure and amusement!

**Summary:** Padme recieves some devestating reports about her husband, Anakin, who is fighting in the clone wars in the outer-rim, has no means of telling her otherwise, and tries to make his way back to her.

(Terrible summary but this isn't as much an action fic as it is an emotion-based one.)

Enjoy, and there is nothing wrong with this anymore, no song, and there is a disclaimer!

Soph xox

* * *

Padme Amidala stood by the looming bay window of her senatorial quarters, looking over the streaming nightlife that was the planet Coruscant at this hour. Numerous ships screamed past in a wash of light and sound, landing platforms attached to tall, glimmering buildings swarmed with many different species, all with their own purpose, all busy doing, never standing still. The sun had long since set, yet this planet seemed even more active in the later hours than in the earlier. It was for this reason that Padme missed her home, the quiet, isolated, and beautiful planet, Naboo so much, she missed being able to sit by the stars at night, listen to nothing but the night birds sing, and the soft summer breeze disturb the leaves on the sturdy branches above her. There she could be a child again, do what she wished, love what and whom she wished, no secrecy, no political debates beckoning her utmost attention night and day. It was at times like these, when Padme remembered what it was she was missing, what it was she _missed_, craved, and wanted more than anything, she sometimes pondered on what there was to stop her going back. She always remembered why, and the why always won over. Anakin. Her light, her joy, but her pain, and her suffering, the more she saw of him, the more she loved him. Then the more she needed him with her. But then, the longer they were together, the longer were the times that they were apart, the longer the missions himself, his master, and his duty as a Jedi required him to undertake, and then, the more she'd do as she did now, stand by the window that virtually sang of grandeur, and think of him, her husband, her Anakin, her love. 

Where was he now, she mused to herself. The younger, more carefree, and simpler Padme, would dream, envision, and imagine her young, reckless-hearted Jedi, venturing to all ends of the galaxy, selflessly saving those he'd never met, putting himself in harm's way to protect others, as was the Jedi way. But now, not so many years later, Padme knew so much different, during this horrific, unnecessary, and brutal war, Anakin had experienced things that made her shudder to even think of, things so terrible, that he wouldn't even speak of them, things that caused him to wake at night screaming, drenched with the cold sweat of nightmares. Things that filled him with shame.

Padme knew that many Jedi, Anakin's master, Obi-Wan included, considered Anakin to be overly open to emotion, anger, hate, the thirst for vengeance, Padme on the other hand, almost resented the thought, to her, Anakin's emotionally driven aspects were what attracted him to her so much, he was open, loving, kind and caring, but inside he was a terrified little boy. These overwhelming feelings in him, with the help of his teachers, he had learnt to overcome, suppress, if only temporarily, but Padme still feared for him, still prayed to whoever would listen night after night that her husband would be brought home safely, all in one piece, both in body, and in mind.

The flicker of her data pad's alert system startled her from her repetitive thoughts, she bent to hit the activation button, and a small, blue tinted holo-image of Bail Organa, Senator of Alderaan, appeared before her. He bowed in greetings.

"Senator Amidala." Padme inclined her head in polite acknowledgement. Slowly, she sat down on the large, cream coloured couch, that centred her apartment. Folding her hands in her lap, she gazed expectantly into the flickering image of the Senator.

"May I help you Senator Organa?" Bail's gaze shifted slightly, and his stature spoke of discomfort, whatever it was he had to say, he wasn't looking forward to it, and, personally, neither was she.

"We have received some…" He paused, raising a hand to rub his brow thoughtfully, searching for the right words. "'Distressing', news." He finished. Padme did not reply, she merely sat, unnerved, but waiting for him to continue.

"Weeks ago the Jedi dispatched one of their teams, General Kenobi and young Skywalker, to complete a confidential mission for the republic in the outer-rim territories, do you remember?" Remember? How could she forget, the day, one day out of many, where her husband had kissed her farewell, with the heart-felt promise of a swift return. Another day, where Padme found herself wondering whether he _would_ come back, that what if this time, he would not be so lucky. Another time, where sleep had abandoned her for many nights.

This was her love for Anakin.

But of course, Organa was not to know, no one was. Realizing she'd taken several moments too long before answering, she swallowed back the boiling emotions, and looked sternly into the hologram.

"I remember senator." Organa nodded.

"Then I am sorry to have to tell you this M'lady, but the pair were reportedly killed in action two standard days ago." Padme's heart stopped, no, she thought, turn it back, turn back the hands of time, turn back to when the data pad had flickered, ignore it! Ignore it! Then you would not have to feel this overwhelming agony, that threatens to consume you. Padme found she could not speak, her mind spun, creating excuses, reasons, for this….suffering. She'd heard him wrong, it was not Anakin who'd been killed, she'd merely mistook the name. But it was no use, Padme wanted the world to come to a spinning end at this instant, but she knew it would not, she knew it _could_ not. She did not know how in the galaxy's fair name she would keep her composure in front of the distressed senator in the holo-image, but somehow, she did.

"No, no it can't be…." She could not finish, she wanted to let go and cry out her grief to the skies, but she could not, damn this secrecy, damn all this deceit! Her husband had been taken, ripped away from her, and she could tell no one, she could be comforted by no one. She had, no one. Her only friend, whom she'd trusted with her life, cared for as deeply as she would a brother, was no longer there either, he too had perished along with Anakin. The thought was enough to mentally crucify her.

"I'm afraid it is true, Padme." Organa's soft voice penetrated her maddened thoughts, and her attention snapped back to the present.

"They were good people, great warriors, they will be sorely missed. I know they were good friends of yours, I did not know the young one well, but Obi-Wan was a close friend of mine, we shall all grieve." Padme nodded. Bail Organa, she could see as plainly as she could see him before her, was fighting back his own grief, though somewhat different from Padme's, was just as strong, though he'd continue, he had his wife, he had his people, his home planet to live within the comfort of, his job. He'd pull through, he was so much like Obi-Wan in that way, calm, collected, always had an answer to everything. She'd miss her friend so.

Organa apologized for his disruption of Padme's evening, and bowed once more, before de-activating the image. Padme was left alone to the silence. She buried her face in her hands. In all truths, she was a child, as was Anakin. Children, who knew nothing but of what they'd been brought up to believe, Anakin, a life of selflessness, a life dedicated to a greater good. Padme, a life of order, politics, and government. Children, who wanted nothing but to be left in peace to simply _be_, to simply be allowed the smallest and most beautiful of allthings, love. Children who wanted nothing more than to be left to simply love, and be with each other, while others, would leave them to themselves, stand back, and simply smile, knowing that they were happy, and that that was all they needed. But that had been so impossible, Anakin, so young, so energetic, had been sent to the most gruesome of places, been made to fight the most bloody of battles, to be forever at the beck and call of the republic, to go wherever they were needed, whenever they were needed, was forbidden to love, forbidden to be with her, his wife, for reasons both knew but neither understood. All they understood, was that they had wanted each other. Nothing more, nothing less.

Padme had no idea of how long she had wept, nor did she care, there was nothing left for her, nothing left _in_ her. Her love, her life had been taken, like the winter disposing with cruel torment of the warm summer sun. She didn't even want to think of what she'd miss of him, what she loved so much about him, the pain would simply destroy her. She vaguely remembered something her mother had said to her once, when they had been discussing the war.

"_Hate lives on, in each of us. If our parents, and elders fight, and have fought all their lives, that lives on in our children, and one day, someday, it'll destroy them just as it destroyed you. Your children will want to play, it won't matter to them who belongs to what family, where, when, or why, they will only want to play, but the quarrelling elders will always stop them, and eventually, the children's love, and the parent's hate, will kill them."_

It was only now, that Padme fully grasped what it was her mother had meant. Now that she was experiencing it, it was an agonizing truth, one she could not escape. All they had wanted was to love each other, to hold one another, for the rest of their days, but each was pulled away, by a belief and a war, by feelings so strong that they were drawn in by them, and eventually, destroyed by them.But she would remember, one thing no one could kill to her, one thing no one could take away, were her memories of the man she loved, the memories that made her laugh, made her cry, made her smile or even cringe. She'd keep them all. She'd never forget.

_'Yes Anakin_,' Padme thought, '_I will always remember you, I'll never forget you, us, what we fought for, what we believed in, I'll forget nothing. I love you Anakin, now and forever.'_


	2. Chapter 2

Hiya, well here's chapter 2, kinda uneventful but I'm hoping rather insightful! I'm lounging around at home with a nasty sprained ankle and the crutches are driving me MAAAAAD! lol however I am pleasedto say I'm no longer single, hehehe, so if this sounds a bit mushy it's probably because Im doped up on painkillers and newly felt romance LOL! enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I dont own the characters, planets, or anything to do with star wars!GL and Lucasfilm own everything! Ionly hopeI do the greatness that is SW justice!

Thanx to everyone who reviewed, keep sending me your feedback! it's agreat help!

* * *

"How soon can you get the generator up and running?"

"I just need three more minutes master!"

Obi-Wan Kenobi glanced briefly at his chrono, they were definitely cutting this fine, another ten minutes and he'd be receiving some angered telemetry from the select few council members awaiting them at the Dantooine republic base.

"You have one."

Anakin shot a look of annoyance at his master, or rather former master, seeing as Anakin had been promoted to the rank of knight only months before. The look was unseen, and somewhat gladly Anakin returned his gaze to the faulty generator, in all truths, he should have been able to fix this within the minute he'd been given easily, but his thoughts were elsewhere, they were back home, with Padme, his wife, as they had been a lot within the duration of this awful war. Funny, Anakin mused, how he'd always, as a small boy, referred to home as 'where his mother was', but now, it seemed, that he was 'home', when he was with Padme, it felt right, and it comforted him to think about it, something to go home to, someone to miss, someone to miss _him_. Anakin hid a sad smile, in every aspect, he should've been one of the happiest men alive at the moment, but he wasn't, lies did that to him, did that to anyone. He'd always been good at deceit, harmless as it had been, the odd white lie to his mother as to why he wasn't in bed at the correct time, a slightly exaggerated but believable excuse to Watto when a chore had not been done properly if at all. But this was different, this was both their futures, his and Padme's future, combined into one titanic time-bomb that, even with the slightest flicker, could implode, and in the process, destroy everything himself and his wife cared for, loved, and fought for, his dedication to the Jedi, hers to the senate, all that was the sacrifice paid for their wants, at times, he'd felt selfish, at others, resentful, why should he have to deprive himself of something so freely given and taken by others? Where was the fairness in that? There was none, and that was something war had taught him, that often, things that seemed so unjust, so cruel, had often become the accepted ways of the universe, because it was better for the general good. It would probably be easier to accept, Anakin supposed, if it wasn't _he_ who was paying that sacrifice, if he could have, and do, whatever he wished, when others felt the depravities for _his_ own benefit, he supposed he would've seen the reasoning. But from his current position, in this reality, he could not, and right now, he missed Padme more than anything else he'd ever known, more than anything he _could_ ever know.

"Anakin!"

Anakin nearly jumped out of his skin, the turbo-spanner flying out of his hand.

"Master!" Obi-Wan laughed.

"Startle you there did I?" Anakin waited for the air to re-fill his lungs, a Jedi should never be caught off guard, no matter how amusing the consequences, he knew he was going to get a verbal bashing from Obi-Wan for that.

"Just a little, sorry, that was foolish." There was no reply, and that unnerved Anakin further. He screwed in the last bolt to the generator, and activated the previously malfunctioning machine, it whirred and hissed to life. Anakin patted it with his hand, silently thanking it for it's co-operation. He stood, straightening out his tunic.

"I'm done here, should be good to get us cross planet, we'll need a refuel once we reach the capital though master." Obi-Wan's hands rested on his hips, and he nodded solemnly.

"Agreed, when we arrive I'll leave you to the repairs while I meet with the council."

"Why do you suppose they called for us so urgently?"

"I'm not sure, comms are down inter-planet, so no one's been able to get word to or from Coruscant, we are just at the beck and call of Master Mundi and Master Windu for the time being." Anakin nodded, not trusting himself to speak further, no comm to Coruscant? This wasn't good, so far he'd been sending deeply encoded messages to Padme's apartment once every few weeks, it was what kept him going, knowing that she knew that he thought of her everyday, that no matter how terrible, or intense things became down here, she'd always know he loved her, and doing it kept his mind off of other things anyway, but who could he tell, who could he confide in, the loneliness of his constant pining and want was enough to consume him. Master Obi-Wan's voice startled him into the present once more.

"Count yourself lucky my old Padawan, while you sit around tinkering with spare parts that you love so much, I'll be sitting in senatorial quarters discussing politics with those who know the least about it." Anakin laughed, it sounded like something Padme would say, he sighed, oh how he missed her. He turned back to Obi-Wan.

"Don't worry master I'm sure you'll find someway to amuse yourself." He grinned at the older man. "You always do." Obi-Wan clapped him on the shoulder, a friendly smile spread across his bearded face.

"Save your sarcasm for someone who wants to listen. Get in the ship and fly it before I do, and you'll only start whining at my piloting skills if I fly it so get going now." Anakin mock-saluted Kenobi light-heartedly before leap frogging into the small ship, the newly repaired generator whirring pleasantly, it'd work for now, hopefully. Obi-Wan settled into the co-pilot's seat beside Anakin before closing the cock-pit hatch.

"All systems check out, you ready?" Obi-Wan nodded, paling significantly.

"Just don't do anything foolish or reckless, something I could never drill out of you under my tutorship." Anakin smiled as the ships engines growled into a fiery start up, he felt the reassuring wobble as the ship began to hover from the hangar bay floor.

"Never mind, I appreciate you trying, at least we'll get there faster." Obi-Wan groaned as the ship left the hangar at a roaring speed, breaking the atmosphere within seconds.

"That's what I'm afraid of, my fool-hardy young apprentice!"

His words were drowned out by the engine's screams as the ship entered hyperspace.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry chapter 3 has taken so long, we've had the end of school term (I'm now a year 10, or tenth grade depending on where you're from, and I've been awarded a scholarship go me!) Ahem...anyway, this story is starting off very slow, but don't worry it'll get better.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEEASE read and review! It's only fun when people review (I don't mind constructive criticism just aslong as it's not rude or unjustly offensive.)

Enjoy, and send your reviews.

_Sophie xox._

**P.S**: Thank you to anyone and everyone who _has_ reviewed!

* * *

"I said three thousand; Jedi boy I won't take less!

"C'mon two will do you plenty my friend."

"No."

"It'll be fine, the galaxy's at war, prices have dropped, this is fine!" Anakin was getting more than exasperated as he indicated the credits in his hand, haggling wasn't a tactic exercised at the temple, Obi-Wan wouldn't be too appreciative if Anakin had failed to get their ship repaired due to stingy prices.

"I'll take two, and refuel you, but that generator is screamin' for another thousand."

" Two fifty, and I'll help you with the generator." The huttese owner of this particular repair yard, squirmed uncomfortably, and wiped his greasy hands on his oil stained trousers. He squinted up through the sunlight back at Anakin, who happened to be almost 4 feet taller than the creature, dressed in a dark, black, Jedi tunic, lightsaber hanging casually from his utility belt, and arms folded impatiently across his chest, this, the creature mused, was not a man to cross.

"Look, you've obviously never priced with a huttese businessman before, but even still, who offers to help with repairs eh? You're paying me to do it for star's sake! It's embarrassing to have a paying customer doing all the work."

"Then you'll take the two thousand?" Anakin supposed he could use a mind trick on this man, but as Obi-Wan had always taught him, it was often more effective to let a being comply on their own accord, made the job easier. Again the creature squirmed, rubbed his hands once again, he seemed reluctant to answer.

"Look, more and more of us are being killed by the day trying to keep you, your family, and everyone else in this force forsaken galaxy alive and free. The least you could do is let me have a working ship!" The creature sighed and shook his head submissively.

"My young friend, yes there is a war on, how could I not know, but I need to keep my family fed, I have kids, I need the money, I'm not just gonna drop prices to anyone." Anakin kept his arms folded, he could wait this fellow out.

"Yeah yeah fine, alright, stop staring at me like that kid…sheesh! I thought you Jedi were the friendly types." The huttese snatched the two thousand credits out of Anakin's hand, pocketed it warily, then bent to fiddle and inspect the shiftily repaired generator. Anakin watched over the short creature's shoulder.

"I thought you salesmen were the co-operative types." Anakin muttered the sarcastic insult under his breath, but the stocky creature seemed to overhear, in mock despair, it lunged a hand at his chest, placing one hand over his heart.

"You wound me with your cynicism Jedi, how do you expect to win a war with an attitude like that? Now shut up and let me work!" Anakin raised his hands in defeat, laughed and stood, he'd be of no use sitting around narking at the workman if he was to get any _work_ done. He fumbled in his cloak for his comm. device as he heard the thing blink and whirr, someone was trying to contact him. He found it, pulled it out, and in a swift gesture, activated it.

"Anakin? It's Obi-Wan do you copy?"

"I hear you master what's going on?"

"Bad news I'm afraid, the council has been informed of a small, separatist territory base lodged somewhere in the underground tunnels of the Dantooine badlands, we've been sent to investigate." Anakin couldn't hide the disappointment and upset in his voice.

"Oh, so, we're here for how long now?"

"I'm not sure Anakin, hopefully this rumour will remain just a rumour, and we'll be released of duty for a while." There was a pause, Anakin couldn't take this much longer, he'd been away too long, he missed Padme, he missed being at home, for too long now he'd spent fighting a war on planets he'd never heard of, for reasons he didn't understand. He shook his head to himself, disturbed when his former master's voice broke through the transmission once more.

"I'm sorry Anakin I know how anxious you were to return home."

"Ours is a life of service master."

"It is, and that is true, but hollow words mean nothing where a dangerous mission is concerned Anakin, take this time off you have to recollect yourself, no doubt our impending task will be strenuous to say the least." Anakin nodded sullenly, but upon realizing that Obi-Wan could not actually see him, he responded verbally.

"Alright master," He sighed."The repairs were a little slow starting," Hespoke,casting a meaningful look towards the Dantooinian workman, who replied with a rude gesture, before returning his focus to the generator. Anakin chuckled quietly,and quickly finished his sentence.

"But they are well underway, I should be with you in approximately 4 hours."

"Good, that's quicker than I expected, at least I won't be stuck here for long."

"Not like you to complain master?" Anakin couldn't keep the amusement from his voice.

"No, perhaps not,but I suggest you give this whole _'senate's poster boy'_ thing a try, it's not the most rewarding or gratifying of tasks to say the least, if it were you in my position, we'd be sending in shrinks to come and talk you down." Anakin laughed.

"Glad to see you still have so much faith in me."

"You can fix and fly ships,but that's about all your good for." Anakin heard the smile in his master's tone, and decided to end the friendly yet worn banter there.

"Shouldn't you be getting back to your friends then?" Anakin laughed.

"I suppose so." came the laborious and tiredresponse.

"Right then, Skywalker ou-"

"Anakin?"

"Yes master?"

"Remember what I said, you should find some time for yourself to meditate a while, I'm sensing some very clouded emotion from you, you must not let it effect your judgment or the job we have to do."

"I'm just tired master." Obi-Wan didn't sound too sure, but let the problem lie, knowing that Anakin would sort himself out one way or another, without his intervention.

"Try at least."

"I will."

"Good, Kenobi out."

Anakin switched off his comlink, breathing a sigh of relief, the Jedi master meant well, but he had the awful knack of picking up the slightest tremble or disturbance in Anakin, no matter how hard Anakin tried to shield it, it was an attribute of Obi-Wan's that Anakin would have considered to be a caring one, but now, when he had so much to hide, and so much to lose, it was never a good thing. A sharp zapping sound of a fried generator ejected a high squeal from the workman behind Anakin, startling him from his daze.

"Hey, be careful with that, I'm not paying you to make it worse!" The workman glowered and sucked his burnt fingers, muttering:

"If someone hadn't been tinkering with the connection leads…"

Anakin ignored the man's angered comments, he decided it was time to call upon Obi-Wan's advice and meditate for a while, it was not a pass-time he enjoyed, not at all, but, like all things, there came times when sometimes things that you didn't even know you liked to do, you will feel the want of doing. He had no explanation for this, but he just did, in four hours or so, himself and Obi-Wan would be making their way into one of the most feared and dangerous zones in the galaxy, and as Kenobi had quite rightly said, Anakin could not let his boiling emotions and fears cloud his judgment in anyway. He would envision all thoughts of Padme, his mother, all things he'd lost, all things he missed, slipping away from him, as if being stored away in a box, to be released to him at a later time, when the happy and soothing memories would serve him purpose, and until then, his entire being would be focused on the task at hand, it would be best for him, forObi-Wan, and the Jedi.

He only wished he could believe ithimself.


End file.
